Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Birth Order

Once in a while when I'm watching E1, E2, and E3 run around the house or involved in some rough play, I wonder if things would be a bit different if we had the girls first and then a boy. Of course if that were the case E1 wouldn't be E1 anymore and would he be less active and rambunctious? Would he be less rough when he plays and more attentive? Or would boys always be boys and it wouldn't matter if he was born first or not? If we did have the girls first, would the experience of having twins just scare us as first time parents and we wouldn't have had any more kids? Sometimes it is kinda fun to just wonder what if.

So today I'm going to let you know my kids a little better and also play a little what if:

E1 is a very active and happy little boy. Like a typical boy he loves to be very physical when he plays and can be a bit rough at times, like play pushing or tackling. He is an introvert when it comes to social interaction and takes his time to take things in and observe before he will come out of his shell and interact with other kids or adults. He is very used to having his sisters around, since they are only 14 months apart, that he doesn't usually like to play alone and craves their company. He is a good older brother and loves and dotes on his baby brother. He is very patient and understanding when it comes time for me to care for his siblings. Before E4 came along and the girls still took a nap, he would always wait patiently and quietly for me to get them down for their naps. Perhaps he knew that once they go down, we would get to spend some one on one time together. I always tried to make that time special and we would usually play a board game together or something that the girls weren't able to play with yet.

IF he was born after the girls (making him E3), he probably would be a bit more attentive and not has rough when he plays. Though he would probably still be very much a boy and enjoy being physical like running around a lot. He would probably still be an introvert. But probably be slightly less patient and understanding when it came to me caring for his siblings.

My girls are identical twins but their personalities couldn't be more different. E2 is my girly girl, loves to play dress up, and honestly a bit vain at times and enjoys checking herself out in the mirror. She is always interested in what I am doing when it comes to applying make up and when I'm getting ready in the morning. I let her use a bit of my chapstick one morning and ever since she has asked for it every time she sees it. She, like E1, loves her baby brother. She has a very maternal side to her and immediately wanted to help take care of E4 the day he was born. She would always be the first one to run to E4's crib if she heard him crying and try to comfort him, saying things like "It's Ok, I'm right here. Don't cry." It is always so heart warming for us to watch her with E4. We think when E4 gets older, they are going to get along really well and will be best buddies. She is more of an extrovert when it comes to social interaction and is usually the first one to interact with strangers. She is naturally very curious and loves to explore. But of course this also means she would just run off in public settings because she has little fear. We are starting to instill some necessary fear in her when it comes to public settings because it can get pretty dangerous with her just running off on her own all the time. Her personality is also very different from E1 so they are the ones that usually butt heads with each other.

IF she was born first, I think like now she would be a great older sister and take great care of all her younger siblings. She would have had more one on one time with me and would probably be a little less needy than she is now. Sometimes she exhibits classic middle child behavior of needing and craving attention but I think that would be less so if she was born first even as a twin. She would probably be very girly and not be into any rough play.

E3 is a happy bubbly little girl. Compared to E2 she is more of a tomboy and has a very similar personality to E1 so they are usually best buddies. Not to say E2 and E3 don't get along. As twins they are very close and always seem to find each other at night when they are sleeping even if they start out on opposite sides of the bed. When E1 is at school, E2 and E3 have a wonderful time playing together. But when E1 is in the mix, he prefers E3's company. She is usually the one that will engage in more rough play with E1 and she doesn't mind getting pushed around a bit. She is also the more mellow and easy going one. Almost always willing to share toys and listens to mommy and daddy. She is not as maternal as E2. Initially not really caring for her baby brother when he first arrived. We think she probably felt a bit threatened by him, seeing that he kinda took her status as the baby of the family. But with time, she has started to really warm up to E4 and enjoy playing with him like her two older siblings. She is more of an extrovert as well even though she warms up a bit slower than E2. But she is not as curious as E2 and is more likely to stay by mommy and daddy's side when we are in public. This is starting to change with time and she will usually run off with E2 more often these days. She is our biggest animal lover and takes an instant liking to most animals she encounters.

IF she was born before E1, I think she would probably still be a bit of a tomboy but probably wouldn't play as rough as she does now. She would might also be more maternal having more younger siblings to care for. But overall I don't see her changing too much if birth order was changed.

Our little guy is such a fun and well behaved baby. It might have been the fact that when I had him I was much more experienced with taking care of a new born but he didn't cry much at the hospital. I remember hearing all the other babies crying in the middle of the night during my hospital stay and he would be nice and quiet. Only crying when he was hungry or had a dirty diaper. He LOVES it when we change his clothes, and every time we pull his chubby little arms out of his clothes, he would giggle uncontrollably. He has the most infectious laugh! He is also our best eater and a lover of green vegetables, more than fruit which is a bit unusual but we can't complain. He is always very alert, watching his older siblings run around and he loves it when they play with him. He is very easily pleased!

Not sure I can do much guessing if birth order were changed when it comes to him since he is still a baby and there is so much more of his personality I don't know. But I would hope he would stay the same since he is just a really happy baby!

But of course, all guessing fun aside, I couldn't be happier and blessed to have the perfect balance of 2 boys and 2 girls. When I was a young girl and people would ask how many kids I want in the future I always thought having 2 boys and 2 girls would be so nice but never thought God would bless me with exactly what I had hoped for.

Parents with multiple children, do you ever wonder how things might be different if their birth order was changed? Parents with one child or readers without children, do you ever wonder how you would be different if your own birth order changed? 

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  1. I'm not sure I would be much different. I think God knew what He was doing when he created 2 big brothers for me. :) Isn't it amazing how identical twins can have such different personalities. I was an assistant kindergarten teacher and had 3 sets of twins in my class. They were all so different. How awesome!

    1. Yes, God definitely knows best! I always tell my parents that I was an only child because God knew they wouldn't be able to handle more than 1 of me, haha! Always good to hear from you MommyMandi.

  2. All kids are different and unique, huh? I think J is a very attentive and gentle boy, even though he's first born. Though he can of course be rough. Just ask our puppy! It's kinda cool that E2 and E4 are buds, and E1 and E3 are buds. Not that they aren't buds with each other, but it's cool to observe that! As an eldest, I can't imagine NOT being Type A, meticulous, a planner, and over achiever. Not that my sister isn't these things, she is, just in different ways. Though I do love her artistic and creative side that I don't naturally have.

  3. Yes, each child is different and unique! It is always fun to observe and discover new things about the kids personalities each day.